chelelev: (Jessicality Pooh credit)

1.  Please note the signs that state NO DRINKS OF ANY KIND CAN LEAVE THIS ARE.  That means you and your drink.  This was a bad place to locate me since I could get my bitch on and have fun.

2.  Lady, when I have told you 4 times to get back inside the lounge's foot print, my next time having to tell you means  A. you will loose your little drink  B. your arm band will be ripped off your arm and C. a lovely big sharpie X will be marked on the backs of both your hands.

3.  The exit is just that, an exit.  Don't try to come in that way especially when we have closed the place down.

4.  What were you thinking?  A baby does not qualify as being over 21.  Parents?  Why would you take your baby into a bar much less to a loud concert?  Person who let the baby in?  Good thing today is the last day of any concerts at the Gorge or you would probably be out the door.

5.  If you think you are cute and try to sneak beers out in your cargo pants, I will see you, I will yank you back in and I will take your beers and give you the mark of no alcohol.  I enjoy yanking you around.

6.  Lady, we tossed you out, you have your marks of no alcohol.  First of all, you can't be back in to get a light.  You were evicted from the bar.  How in hell did you manage to get another wristband and have a beer?  Bye bye, no DMB for you tonight.

7.  No, I don't care if you brought the beer in.  Really, I don't.  It is a hard bar and by law, we can't let you leave with any drinks.  Yes, that includes your water bottle.  Dump it.  Don't throw it at me, don't try to get me splashed.  It is hot, I really didn't mind it (and I have been pouring water over me all night.

8.  Yes, I do need to check your bags as you are leaving.  I'm am not sorry you are missing the concert, you picked this place to come drink instead of going to one of the beer stands who would have let you take your beer back to your seats.  

9.  Once it is 8 pm (sun down), you don't get to take your beers out of any beer garden.  That pesky state law again.

10.  How people stil lhave 32 oz. beers in their hand at 11:30 is beyond me.  Someone did not do thier job somewhere.

11.  Other employer employees: Don't let someone walk out the entrance esp. if I have yelled stop him.  That should indicate to you that you should prevent him from leaving.

12.  Dude, you are sitting next to a fenced off area where about 8 people are wearing shirts that say Security.  Did you really think that was a good time to bring out your flask?  Duh, wait until dark or get better at it.  Go get a soda, go to the potty, add your booze into your soda, wha-la, a drink we probably won't bother you about.

To my Employers:

1.  Not nice to put the fat girl on the hill walk.  You are not my personal Jenny Craig trainer.  Don't make me balance on a 45 degree hill for two hours.  And, NO, I am not cleaning that danm berm.  Once again, fat lady on big hill

2.  If I am to guard the exit from the bar, give me a radio so that I can yell that I have runner and maybe I can get help.  You see, if I left my post everyone in there would run out with their drinks.  I will try a whistle but just not the same thing.

chelelev: (word)
At the fair (yep, still writing about the fair) Tuesday we noticed two men with coordinated Ozzy shirts, one for Black Sabbath and the other wore an OzzFest t-shirt. These are older men, probably mid forties to mid fifties. One of the shirts had the word fuck on it and I did think that was a bit inappropriate for a fair (am I getting that old and conservative? Bitch slap this out of me!). We saw the same men last night at Uncle Cracker, this time in coordinated Hawaiian shirts. I am not sure if they are partners or out to pick up girls at the fair and they think they look cute together and they are hoping for a threesome or foursome.

The bottom line of how pathetic they were? During one of the songs, they stood up and began attempting to throw gang signs down. Please note: you are white middle-aged men in white Republican eastern Washington, gangstas you are not.
chelelev: (polar bear)

This week in the lovely Benton-Franklin County Fair. For those of you used to a good size fair, think King County or the mother of all fairs, The Puyallup,this is a sad little fair. They rip you off with parking (5.00), admission (10.00) and the usual bad fair food. Last year I was treasurer for the local Democrat group so I was at the fair twice a day (bringing money in, taking money out).  Spent way too much time at the fair that year.

Like other fairs, they have entertainment, $6.00 if you want to sit in the "special section" (read chairs with backs on them) or free if you want to sit on the grass or in the uncomfortable bleachers.  They usually book those acts on their way down the ladder of success, last year was Styx (which I have had the opportunity to see at least once every summer for several years, not the scarcasm in the typed word and will be seeing them yet again next month, can you say Antichrist?), a few country people and the perennial downward sprial of Eddie Mooney (who was selling thongs with his picture on them, just not right).

This year's entertainment offering was/is the Doobie Brothers, some more country and Uncle Cracker.  Doobie Brothers (not sure how many were original to the band) did draw in a huge crowd and they were there on opening day of the fair.  I saw them back in the day (on their last farewell tour) and wasn't really impressed with them this year.  I was expecting the Greatest Hits and got some of that and some new stuff that I wasn't prepared for.  Uncle Cracker was tonight (which was also Senior Day).  He did clean up his act, I was a bit concerned with all the little kids in the audience and some older folks.  I did wonder what the old folks were thinking, he did do a couple of songs that would appeal to my generation.  Mark went with reservations but he really didn't have that bad of a time.  It could have been worse, I could have found a Snoop Dogg concert to drag him to.

I believe I am now done with the fair tour this year.  There are some people I wouldn't mind seeing at the Puyallup but just don't have the energy to drive over, spend the night and deal with it all.  It also usually rains during that fair and there is nothing worse than sitting without roof during an all weather concert when there is weather.  Did it last year (for guess who?).  It was the same weekend as FarmAid so we were over there anyway but it was a miserable weekend (not to mention the speeding ticket I got on the way).

Just two more concerts on the books for this year,  Tom Petty Labor day weekend at The Gorge and my manditory penance of Styx at the Gorge later next month.  I even get to suffer through REO Speedwagon and Foreinger.  This line up is better than last year's concert where Nelson (David's little boys) opened for Peter Frampton.  We sat next to a couple who just loved Nelson, they played on the cruise that they took for their honeymoon.  I just sat there wondering if I could force myself into a coma for the next 30 minutes that they were on stage.  The rest of the line-up was better, Blue Oyster Clut and Kansas (considering we are desert, Dust in the Wind was appropriate).  Steely Dan must be out of the "we sing about incest" tour dates since they did tour the Northwest this summer.

 

 

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chelelev

March 2013

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