For those of you playing at home

I have placed the 2004 tax box on the dining room table and have even sorted out January, tossing what I don't need to keep for taxes. Being the paper packrat that I am (I am a packrat for just about everyhing), it is very hard for me to dump those old bills into the shred pile (which means I will sneaking them into work and dump them in the locked trash cans). Tossing things makes my head hurt.

My tongue hurts. I think I might have burned it on something. I can eat Chex Mix but cheese puffs hurt. So did the spicy salad dressing I had on my morning salad. This is begining to interfere with my life and we can't have that.

My last call of the night was my evil cell phone man. The one who kept me on the phone for an hour going around and around in circles. He wanted to exchange his phone. I told him that had to handled by a specialist. He repeated himself at least 4 times. Yes, I know what kind of phone you have, I have the order right her. Yes, I know you are dropping calls. You told me 3 times. Yes, I know your wife's phone is working better, I still have to transfer the call to teh specialist. They will be getting back with you.

The biggest annotation on his customer? Patience, practice patience. You are not kidding. My karma must be bad because I got him again.

Off to the recliner and have another nap while watching some shows DVRd, we need the space!

Very tempted to go to bar and listen to state of the union. I have the drinking game rules, I would need Mark to come with me and get me home. I am going to have to think about it. It is not as fun to do it when you are home but it is less expensive.

Another Drinking Game - Will Durst

George W Bush State of the Union 2007 Drinking Game
Everything you need to survive Tuesday night's address


What you Need to Play:

Four taxpayers: One rich white guy wearing a Suit. Cuff links are nice. Two people wearing jeans, one in a blue work shirt, the other in a white shirt. One person wearing clothes rejected by the Salvation Army. (Belt and shoelaces removed.)

One shot glass per person. Everybody brings their own from home and places it on table. Suit gets first pick for use during game. White shirt picks next, then Blue shirt. Suit takes last shot glass as well, and Rags has to beg a glass from other players when necessary, or drink out of own cupped hands.

Twenty buck ante for everybody, except Suit who tosses in a quarter.

One pot of Texas chili and one bowl of guacamole, in middle of coffee table with tortilla chips nearby. Rags has to prepare and serve the chili and guacamole.

A large stash of beer. Rags gets the cheapest stuff available. Suit gets whatever import he likes. White and Blue Jeans get any domestic brand as long as it's no more expensive than Bud. Jeans pay for all the beer, the chips and the ingredients for the chili and guacamole.
Rules of the Game:

1. Whenever George W uses the phrases "defending liberty," "enormous progress" or "challenges ahead," last person to knock wood has to drink 2 shots of beer. If he actually says "there are those who envy our freedoms and seek to destroy us," everybody drinks a whole beer.

2. The first time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat one dollop of chili off a tortilla chip must drink three shots of beer. The second time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat one dollop of guacamole off a tortilla chip must drink three shots of beer. Continue to alternate. If you mischip, drink two extra shots of beer.

3. If George W mispronounces Iraqi President Al- Maliki's name, drink two shots of beer. If he even attempts to pronounce the name of Iranian President Mahmoud Amadinejad, first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking three shots of beer.

4. If George W makes up a word like "9/11ers or "deterrencism," last person to yell out "Strategerie!" drinks two shots of beer.

5. Every time senators Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama are shown in the audience, Suit drinks one shot of beer.

6. The first time George W talks about immigration, last person to finish three chips of guacamole has to drink three shots of beer.

7. If either the Vice President, Secretary of State or First Lady are caught napping, last person to make snoring noises drinks two shots of beer. If Senator Robert Byrd is shown awake, Blue and White drink two shots of beer.

8. Everybody drinks two shots of beer if President Bush mentions Scooter Libby. Three shots of beer if he mentions Jack Abramoff. Four shots of beer if he mentions Osama bin Laden.

9. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to sing the first eight bars of "Amazing Grace" has to drink two shots of beer.

10. If George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns throwing chips of chili and guacamole at TV. First person to hit Bush's head exempt from drinking three shots of beer.

11. If George W tells a folksy Texas tale with a deeper meaning about not leaving before the job is done, Suit has to drink out of beer-filled hands of Rags, who gets to dry his hands on Suit's jacket.

12. Predict the number of applause breaks. After the speech, drink number of shots of beer equal to the difference between your estimate and the real number.

EXTRAS:


Anybody who can identify the person giving the Democratic Response doesn't have to watch it.

If George W uses a heartfelt story about one of our brave troops, White gets to kick everybody once. Twice if the brave troop is a woman. Rags gets to kick Suit if Bush reveals the subject of the anecdote is in the audience. Twice if the brave troop is sitting next to an astronaut.

Suit takes home the $60.25.

Leftover beer, chili and guacamole go home with Rags, after he/she is finished washing the dishes.

Political Comic Will Durst is going to try and sneak into the event disguised as an astronaut. Listen to Durst's twice weekly commentaries at audible.com/willdurst.

from: http://drinkingliberally.org/

For those of you who don't drink....

http://drinkingliberally.org/ brings you

State of the Disunion bingo

http://drinkingliberally.org/resources/dl_bingo.pdf

I do think any drinking games will be done in the comfort of my own home. Which means I probably won't drink at all. I didn't sleep that much last night / today so it may be a very early night.