Little news and a little funny for Cinco de Mayo

We leave tomorrow to go pick up the "mistress". That is my name for the new bike. I am insisting that the other mistresses move out, I will only tolerate one at a time.

I did get Tom Petty tickets for September at the Gorge. The Gorge is one of the most beautiful outdoor concert venues I have ever been to. Check it out at http://www.hob.com/venues/concerts/gorge/ I believe that the mistress will be included on that trip. Wonder if I can convince Mark that taking me to see Keith Urban could do wonders for his sex life?

Now the funny:

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor
store. One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, "Oh, Jack, give me a
pint o' the brandy."

"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I have
never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh Jack", she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice
dropped, "It helps her constipation, you know."

So Jack sold her the brandy.

Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the
nunnery, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine! And she was
plastered!

She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a
bird, right there on the sidewalk.

A crowd was gathering. Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary
Katherine! For shame!! And you told me this was for the Mother Superior's
constipation!"

Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat. She replied, "And so it is.
When she sees me, she's gonna shit."

Another funny

Geo. Bush's first BOO BOO !!!!!!!!!!


Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a
get-acquainted tour of the White House After drinking several
glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal
bathroom.When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see
that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think,"he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal
too. But I wouldn't do something that self-induligible!"

Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she
told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of
the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a
gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed,
Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who peed in your
saxophone."